


My Head isn't the Only Thing I'm Going to Shoot

by aelie_earle



Category: Bee and PuppyCat, Clue | Cluedo (Board Game), Clue | Cluedo - All Media Types, Die Welle (2008), Suicide Squad (2016), The wave (2008)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Crack, Angst, Aura - Freeform, Character Death, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Essential Oils, Friends to Lovers, Grease - Freeform, Hot Topic, I have a headchae, Suicide Attempt, Twinks, Violence, Yaoi, asos outlet, category 5 hurricane, emoji, frosted tips, golden revolver, orbs, pipe, slutty catholic boy, uwu, vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-29 06:07:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20791871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelie_earle/pseuds/aelie_earle
Summary: I let my mouth hang open and placed the cool barrel of the gun against the tip of my tongue, staring Reiner in the orbs; daring him to take a step closer. Reiner tells me to put the gun down, but as i look across the room at Marco, his wet orbs glistening in fear, his frosted tips slowly moving from the cool draft, he stands up and points at me. Tears stream from the corners of his eyes like waterfalls of anguish and the hand he is pointing towards me is quivering.--------------------------------------My two friends cowrote this in psychology. I take no credit or criticism-this is a work of art, one of them is the co-author of big time rush kidnapped me.





	My Head isn't the Only Thing I'm Going to Shoot

My head isn’t the only thing I’m going to shoot - the wave

I let my mouth hang open and placed the cool barrel of the gun against the tip of my tongue, staring Reiner in the orbs; daring him to take a step closer. Reiner tells me to put the gun down, but as i look across the room at Marco, his wet orbs glistening in fear, his frosted tips slowly moving from the cool draft, he stands up and points at me. Tears stream from the corners of his eyes like waterfalls of anguish and the hand he is pointing towards me is quivering.

“Timothy UwU!” he yells and I feel the impact of the UWU straight into my heart, like an icy knife ripping apart my feelings. Tears still flowing from my wet, wet orbs, I wipe my face with the sleeve of the cashmere jumper marco gave me for summer solstice. He told me it was from Lazy Oaf, but it didn’t matter to me other than that every morning i could smell his white boy musk, making my eyes water with lust. 

“Pwease, don’t pewish,” Marco cries, pushing that ugly bitch Karo out the way and stepping on her ugly ass red top before rushing over to the stage. He stands next to Reiner, shaking in his 2008 UGG boots, his cheeks stained with rapidly falling black tears like Billie Eyelash in that one music video I forgot the song of. He quakes like i quake when i hear frank ocean, in his adidas tracksuit he got from asos outlet, and takes off his beanie let the sweat drip from his frosted tips. 

“Tim, please! You have so much to live for >;((.” Marco yelps, dropping to his knees in defeat and clasping his hands together like the slutty catholic boy he is. 

“You don’t understand! The wave was all I had! All I will ever have!” Tim yells back, shaking the gun in his hand like a fucking category 5 hurricane. 

“And to make it worse...they cancelled Bee and Puppycat,” he mutters, his round balls of sight shaking.   
Marco stands there fuckin s h o o k and screams, “Is it because i didn’t give u pipe!!!!!!!do u not like my reverent green piPE!!!! Because i can be more like him, i can change, Tim please, i would change for you.” Marco is now feeling the quakes from Tim’s category 5 earthquake pulsating from his greasy ass hand that hasn’t been sanitised in fuckin months, disgustang. Tim takes a deep breath, calming his nerves before staring into Marcos orbs with intent, almost as if he was staring into his dutty aura. 

“No,” he begins, slowly removing the gun from his mouth. Still staring at Marco, he raises the gun to the space between his spheres. 

“It’s because you didn’t let mE give you that PiPe!” He finishes, his finger itching to pull the trigger, drinking in the fear oozing from Marcos aura he got cleansed with sage last week. Marco feels weak as his aura is being drained from his pale white man body. Pressing on the trigger, Tim weeps as he swiftly turns the gun away from his glowing face to point at Marco. Tim sucks up the last of Marco’s aura as he presses the cold gun against his heart. Tim leans in towards him, his cold icy breath dispersing into the air. Marco, being a B tech student, thinks he’s going in for a kiss, but Tim bitch slaps him with his oily hand and leans in closer. 

“U never let me give u that good pipe.”

Marco squeezes his balls of sight shut, waiting for the impact of the bullet fuckin yeeting itself through his heart, when all of a sudden Karo flings herself onto the stage, golden revolver in hand.

“Huh? N-Nande Karo-chan!” Tim cries as she presses the barrel of the gun to his head. Karo fixes him with a broken expression on her face, tears streaming down her cheeks like niagra falls.

Sweat drips off of her clout goggles that perch on top of her greasy ass hair. She quivers as her golden gun reflects the light off of her ddlc earrings she got from Hot Topic in the fall. Her peepers quake like she’s having an epileptic attack as the sweat drags her boy beat makeup down her brain cage. 

“I’ve waited so long for this moment,” Karo begins, staring into Tims eyes of seeing. She pauses, her toes take a deep breath of oxygen in her 2009 skechers; the shoes that can breath.

“I moisturized every day with vaseline, took multiple fuckin £10 zoella milk baths, OD’d on rescue reemedy, jesus christ I even let Shane cum on my cat; do you know how long that takes to get out of fur? I’ll tell ya it takes a fuckin minute, I had to send it to pets at home because it got an STD. I’ve got PETA up my ass and the RSPCA sliding into my dm’s.” 

Someone in the crowd vomits, another pulls out a selfie stick and begins to vlog - it’s David Dobrik (Ted bundy) and he offers to give anyone a car who will eat his entire ass. 

“All because...because…” Karo can’t even get the words out of her throat, shes fucking quaking like a packet of q u a v e r s.

“You never gave me that good pipe papiiiiiiiii 👉👌💦💦😜” she cries.

Tim is quaking like a tube of Pringles, his entire body turns white bc he wasn’t vaccinated by his crack head mother. He’s probs gonna get polio. 

But just before he can breath a breathe, the floor starts to vibrate like a fuckin tsunami as everyone looks up towards the whirring sound above. 

Hovering over the school in a helicopter, like a fuckin GODDESS is a vision… an oracle… a saint… a fuckin pussy destroyer… 

Ms. Wenger. 

Her blood red, two piece pant suit she got from anthropology glistens in the sunlight as she speaks into the microphone she hooked up to the school speakers - she’s a hacker. 

“Listen up cunts.” Her voice pipes echo through the speakers in the hall where everyone stands frozen, only their rib cages quivering at the sound of her raspy voice. 

The next sentence she utters is the last thing all those smol German children heard. 

“Visual learning lads. That’s how mafia works.” 

Then I woke up and it was all a dream. 

Jk they all got fuckin yeeyee-ed lmao jake paulerssssssss ha ha lmaooooooooooooo use code “James” for 10% off shishterrrrrs.


End file.
